36 + 6

Dah bertahun saya tak buat entry sempena birthday. After few years... now I'm back to jot something. Tetiba rasa nak kongsi dan luahkan apa yg saya rasa bila umur dah meningkat lagi satu tahun.

Me being 36 + 6...

~I still have a soul mate whom I have been married for 15 years

~I still have a mother to call and wish me 'Happy Birthday'

~I have a beautiful and smart daughter whom I gave birth 13 years ago

~I have my own 7 years old Pug to drive around

~I still have a job in the company I have been working for the past 17 years (with no pay raise and bonus...huhu)

~I'm able to write during my past time

Alhamdulillah for all these. Syukur dgn nikmat yg ada ini. Dgn apa yg ada... we make the best out of it.

Tetapi sebenar-benarnya, banyak lagi yg saya belum kecapi sepanjang 42 thn ni. 

Bukan utk bermewah2, bukannya nak bermegah2... but there are few things I want to accomplish in my life. Impian saya tak besar (I'm a small dreamer...huhu) Cita2 saya tak tinggi melangit. 

Saya tak bermimpi utk jadi Datin atau sebagainya. Gelaran 'Puan' dah cukup bagi saya.
Saya tak bercita2 utk ke Tanah Suci berkali2 mcm sesetengah org. Tapi kalau dapat pergi sekali pun dah syukur rasanya.

Saya tak rancang nak melancong sana sini atau visit the 7 wonders in the world every year. Tapi kalau dapat bawa mak saya mengerjakan umrah sebelum usia mencecah 45 pun, saya dah rasa syukur.

Saya tak ketagih utk beli branded clothes, shoes & bags to wear every day. Or designer shawls, hijab or whatsover. Apa yg ada pun dah memadai utk saya pakai/guna sekali-sekala.

Saya tak harap drive Audi S5 (walaupun saya gila kereta) Tapi kalau dapat drive the new 308 pun dah rasa syukur. :) 

Saya tak terfikir utk jadi housewife dan berjoli menghabiskan duit suami. Tapi kalau dapat  bersara awal dan duduk rumah to do things which I should have done a long time ago...that would be nice.

Tapi yalah kan... kita hanya merancang, ALLAH yg tentukan. Kadang2 kita dah plan baik-baik pun, at the end of the day ada external factor yg ruined it all. Bukan salah kita pun...kita dah berhati2 tapi org lain pulak yg buat plan kita go wrong! Other people's wrong decission has made your life haywire and you got stuck in between! Pathethic right??

Tapi tak apalah... fikir yg baik2 saje. Mungkin yg kita fikir terbaik tu bukan yg terbaik utk kita. And as we all know, ALLAH is the best planner. So being 42 with this kind of life I'm facing... I have to be redha. Inilah ketentuanNYA utk saya.. 

Terima kasih kpd mereka yg tak putus2 berikan ucapan dan doa utk saya semalam...di FB dan WhatsApp. Moga doa anda termakbul.. utk melihat saya dikurniakan kesihatan yg baik dan berjaya di dunia dan di akhirat. Dan saya juga berdoa, moga ALLAH limpahkan rahmat kpd mereka yg ikhlas mendoakan saya. Amiinn...